Posted in depression, Frustration, hurt, Loss, numbness

Exist Loudly Today.

Sometimes we just sort of just exist, not live, just exist. Don’t we?
But what I ask of you today is to exist loudly.
I know some days it’s just tough and it’s okay.
The world is so rough after all.
It isn’t sad, it isn’t happy, it’s just numb.
You just exist there silently.
In your own world, breathing heavily.
But I ask you today, to exist loudly.
I ask you to speak whatever you feel.
Even if it is nothing at all.
Share it with someone you want to
Or seek a therapist maybe?
Tell your parents about it.
Or if you think they won’t understand,
tell them to take you to someone who will.
Siblings, friends, relatives, lover.
Until it gets over.
Find help.
Or write it out.
Talk. Please.
Depression is not sadness or loneliness.
It’s the yearning to be left alone.
It’s the tiredness that makes you sleep all day.
It’s feeling colourless.
No anger. No frustration. No tears. No smile.
It’s a body without soul.
It’s blankness. Emptiness.
You know you are loved.
You know you are cared for.
And most importantly, you know you haven’t done anything wrong.
I know you feel helpless.
You sometimes want to kill yourself.
Death will only transfer this depression to someone else.
Let’s not accumulate these thoughts and suffocate them in our minds.
Shout.
Cry.
Speak.
Write.
Or run.
Let it all out.
Go to your terrace and feel the breeze flow.
The sound of air, deafening your ears.
And making your eyes go smaller.
Give your soul another chance.
Until your breathing stops on its own,
listen to the life’s music and dance?
All I ask you is to exist loudly today.
Just today.
Go out, and sip a cup of coffee with someone.
It’s been a long time, since you’ve won.
Let’s fight another battle today.
Trust me, you are not in love with your bed.
All you need today, is smile as a med.
Just today.
Even if you don’t know what to say.
Exist loudly today.

 

Footnote: With the death of Chester Charles Bennington on 20th July 2017, I was moved. Depression is a real thing. Definitely. We start existing and we stop living. Lets start existing loudly today. Fight our own battles and help each other through these battles.

Posted in answers, confessions, conversations, hurt, love, pain, questions, smile

Unconfessed Confessions!

He asked her questions and for the first time she had no answers. But, those questions were not just his questions, same were hers, too. There was something in the unanswered question, something in the nothingness she had. It was the kind of nothing which meant everything. They stared at each other and she knew from then on, what his beautiful eyes used to shriek in high volumes, were just lost conversations. Lost communications. And he knew, that she was an unblemished piece of art. And that, art was not meant to be understood, art was just meant to be observed and praised. But he also knew, that he could either decorate it, disrupt it, fix it or hold onto it and love it. Since, art was too new for him, he wouldn’t know what to do.

She was unsure of his decisions, unsure of his choices. Of course, falling in his priorities was her only wish, but he knew this not. She was ready for both, come what may. Ready to be ruined by him, for he would be the most beautiful ache she has ever known. The most beautiful tragedy. She just doesn’t want to let the sparkle of his eyes go dull. She wants to let the questions be. As she was made up of the answers. And she knew she’ll be left with less of herself if he quits. And he knew this. He knew he could break her apart, and he was ready to reconcile her in her shattered form. Despite, she wanted to feel everything that life had to bring. Every question, every emotion. She knows, her smile will still be a painful perception, a venomous charm and a colorful dynamite. Because his questions are her pain, her venom and her colors.

-Srishti